Field Flat Mushrooms (or “How the Mighty Have Fallen”)

Today I travelled down to London on LNER, taking the 07:11 from Morpeth. I decided to treat myself to a first-class ticket, taking advantage of the on-board breakfast. The menu, as always, looked promising, offering a tempting Full English Breakfast complete with field flat mushrooms. When the breakfast finally arrived, on the approaches to York, a good 90 minutes after boarding the train, there were in fact no mushrooms of any variety – let alone field flat ones. And the portion sizes are getting smaller – stretching the definition of “full” in “Full English Breakfast” to its limits. “Never mind”, I thought, looking at my egg, sausage and handful of baked beans. I can always ask for some toast afterwards. Alas no. “No more toast until after Newark” I was told curtly.

Indeed I was offered more toast after Newark, but by this time, my breakfast plate had been cleaned away, I’d washed my hands and got my laptop out, wanting to squeeze in 90 minutes of work before I arrived in London, so I politely declined. Staff are of course busy – though the train wasn’t that crowded, and it’s difficult to understand why such a simple request could not be accommodated. Perhaps commenting on the absence of mushrooms had blackmarked me!

As a former Head of Customer Services in a large multi-national, I know the name of the game is to under promise but over deliver, ensuring you exceed customer expectation every single time. Most people travelling first-class know that too. LNER appear to have reversed the formula, promising a premium product which they then do not live up to, having fallen quite a long way from the first-class offer first introduced by the former government-owned franchisee East Coast Trains. Even Travelodge offer unlimited toast at their breakfasts. With a low-cost open access operator starting on the route in 2021 this is something which LNER are going to need to watch. Premium needs to mean premium else customers will go elsewhere


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